This Lincoln Days Has Gone to the Birds

No, literally. Last weekend I was invited to attend the St. Louis Lincoln Days celebration as a guest at Congresswoman Wagner’s table, which was awesome. Naturally, I got dressed in my Republican best and got all the appropriate sticker-ature that such an event entails.

The event was packed and I even bid on a vintage GOP basket in the silent auction (I was outbid by the emcee. boo). Then there was the typical lineup of legislatures, special guests and speakers. It’s what came next that shocked me. Birds. That’s right, a full on line up of fowl (fowels?).

It was going on hour 3.5 of the Lincoln Days celebration when the director of the World Bird Sanctuary took the podium. Suddenly, a barn owl wizzed by my head.

That’s right. Eat your heart out, celebrity Lincoln Days speakers across the nation. The endangered and rare barn owl woke everyone right up. I’ve been to a lot of Republican functions, but this was a first.

Once everyone had gotten over the initial disbelief that an owl graced us with his presence, the owl went home and a hawk swooped into the room. I got an up close look at his razor sharp talons when he passed by my table. The World Bird Sanctuary leader told us to keep our mouths shut as the birds flew by because there have been unfortunate…accidents in the past, and he wasn’t kidding around.

Then, not to be outdone by a mere hawk, the world’s smallest falcon had to give a flight demo. At this point in the night my phone battery just about called it quits so I don’t have photographic evidence.

Just when I thought I had seen it all, the king of all birds, the bald eagle, entered the room. Not one bald eagle, but two. One was perched on the arm of a Vietnam veteran. I don’t know if you can get much more patriotic than that.

And there you have it, Lincoln Days Gone Wild: St. Louis edition. Let this be a challenge to all Lincoln Day celebrations in 2014. If you want to be the talk of the party, you’re really going to have to up your game.